Alden Loveshade End of the Year Letter 2018

Sometimes the ending is like the beginning.

First month of year: Crazy chickens.  They had plenty of room to roost at night on nice perches in their own chicken house.  But while most of them perched on the perches, others insisted on perching in the most uncomfortable places possible.  They’d be in the midst of wires, twine, and hanging plastic bags intended to keep them out of areas where they could barely fit without cramming themselves in or even getting themselves stuck.

Last month of year: With new chickens, repeat above.  Fortunately, I got advice to block them out of those areas altogether, and chicken wire did the trick so perfectly so that…wait, what’s that chicken doing?  Hold on….

I discovered my particularly special plumbing talent.  When it comes to indoor plumbing, I excel at calling a plumber.  And I’m talented at calling someone to fix a buried-but-leaking outside pipe too.  Aren’t you impressed?

Speaking of plumbing, I passed my first (and hopefully last) kidney stone during a visit to the emergency room.  Fortunately, though, this year when I had a threatening encounter with a copperhead snake at the O.K. Corral–OK, barn–I wasn’t the one who had the emergency.  Most snakes I find I distribute around the edges of the property to eat mice.  But then I keep my pet mice protected from snakes.  Go figure.

I faced a possible flooding disaster that–see the piece here.

I visited with in state friends and out of state friends.  For one of them, I edited 935,000 words of material.  Hint: that’s a lot.  By comparison, a news service reported the exactly average length book is Brave New World at 64,531 words.  Do the math.

Speaking of writing, I learned that David Gerrold, science fiction author of many things including the classic Star Trek episode “The Trouble with Tribbles,” was inspired to base a character on me.  Of course I had to pay him to be inspired.  (Actually, it was a donation to a worthy cause and I got free e-books too; check the link.  I didn’t have to pay for this letter’s graphics, though, which I created myself).

Happy Christmas, Great Kwanzaa, Merry Chanukah, Wonderful Yule, Fine Winter/Summer Solstice, Terrific New Year!

— Alden Loveshade

About Alden Loveshade

Alden is a philosopher, personist, writer, playwright, screenwriter, director, actor, poet, photographer, dumbek drummer, roleplayer, and educator. Worked for others and freelance as a journalist, investigator, columnist, reviewer, teacher, animal caregiver, photographer, and dishwasher. Claims e doesn’t care about money, but always needs more. Recognized by Phi Theta Kappa, Golden Key International Honor Society, the U. S. Jaycees, and groups of like ilk. They don’t necessarily like em, but they recognize em. Graduated summa cum laude from some university that apparently figured the best way to get rid of em was to graduate em. Alden has worked with Emmy, Oscar, Tony, and Pulitzer Prize Nominees and Winners but they never shared their awards! Alden has dual citizenship in the Principality of Sealand and the United States of America. His official title for Sealand is Lord Alden Loveshade. E thinks that makes em sound impressive.
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13 Responses to Alden Loveshade End of the Year Letter 2018

  1. LashesPro says:

    What a crazy and funny year you had! Stop that chicken!

  2. Pope Hilde says:

    You are a humor writer, we could use you on the wikis!
    See another article about The Gathering at the Grove in the link below.

    • Pope Hilde says:

      My name is the link to The Grove Gathering.

    • I appreciate that. But actually, I already spend more time on wikis than I probably should. I’m theoretically supposed to making a living writing. I know you do both as well, but you may have more self-control than I do when it comes to writing for free.

  3. Razviksrogrika says:

    In other words, you did nothing all year but harass young girls?

  4. Dolphin Blue says:

    That’s a cool charity!

  5. Pet Girl says:

    Good Yule everybody and Merry Christmas and Super New Year!

  6. Miley Spears says:

    Hilarious as always!

    I like the blog’s new look. Is that the tank that threatened to overflow?

    • Yes it is. That pic was taken before it got to the high point. Actually, it’s encroaching on the high point once again. But with the runoff path I did I’m no longer worried about it.

      Note to future visitors: the pic at top will change, so if you see something that doesn’t fit, you’ll know why.

  7. TawTew the Naturally Perfumed says:

    Wonderful letter as always! Happy Holidays!

  8. Augustus C. says:

    Happy Holidays and thanks for the laughs.

  9. Alena Moscow says:

    С новым годом и Рождеством.

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