School Says Girls Can’t Say No

Young girl denied right to say no at school dance.

A Utah girl told her mother she couldn’t refuse if a boy asked her to dance at a Valentine’s Day event at her school. The mother complained to her Kanesville Elementary school principal because telling a sixth grade girl she couldn’t say no to a boy is a terrible message. The principal said that’s the policy, and the preteen girl had to do what the boys wanted.

It applies to both boys and girls. What happens if they say no, will they be punished? None of the preteens can say no. Is this 2018 or 1958?

Schools decision to refuse girls right to say no if boys ask them to dance, challenged by pupil’s parent

Photo source.
An opinion of a family member of associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

9 Incredible Benefits of Breastfeeding

Mary Cassatt, 1898 – Louise nursing her child

An opinion by guest blogger Jessica M

Breastfeeding is the most natural way of taking care of your little one. It’s an incredible method of nourishing your baby, and its benefits extend beyond the basic nutrition. There is no denying breastfeeding is not compulsory, and the decision to breastfeed or not is a personal choice. It’s a decision that will most likely draw opinions from close friends and family.

In spite of the benefits, breastfeeding is one of the most daunting tasks for new mothers. The challenge is compounded by the fact that some people are completely uncomfortable with it. Some even discriminate against mothers who breastfeed in public. Whether you hate breastfeeding in public or are a new mom who doesn’t like breastfeeding, appreciating these benefits will completely change your mind. Here are some incredible benefits of breastfeeding:

1) Breastfeeding keeps SIDS at bay

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) can be caused by a cascade of events that lead to sudden unexplained death before the baby’s first birthday. According to a review of the most recent research studies, both exclusive and partial breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS. The longer you breastfeed your baby, the better the protective effect. Although results from the most recent researches vary, there is strong evidence that if you breastfeed your baby for any length of time, they will have a reduced (about 50%) risk of SIDS. Besides, some studies have shown that not breastfeeding your baby subjects them to risk higher than that from maternal smoking.

2) Breastfeeding improves mother-child bonding

There is no denying the process of breastfeeding is astounding. When your baby suckles at the breast, it signals your brain to release a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone also know as the love hormone signals your breast to release the milk and the milk let down encourages the baby to keep feeding.

Ever had a crush? The feeling that you get is precipitated by this hormone. When the baby is suckling, good amounts of oxytocin are released. This hormone makes you experience a gush of affection and love for the baby. Therefore every time you breastfeed your baby, the surge of love helps you to bond perfectly with your baby.

3) Breastfeeding helps you lose baby weight

This is an incredible benefit celebrated by all moms. When you breastfeed your baby, you shed an extra 500 calories per day. Some studies have shown that moms who breastfeed exclusively shed baby weight more quickly than those who don’t. Who would hate losing up to 500 extra calories a day?

However, if you adopt unhealthy choices such as poor dieting and lack of sleep, don’t expect breastfeeding to help you lose weight.

4) Breastfeeding boosts the baby’s and mother’s health

Many moms are aware of the health benefits breastfeeding offers for their baby. In fact, most of them breastfeed for the sake of their babies. But did you know breastfeeding benefits the mom too? For instance, breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancer. The longer you breastfeed your baby(s), the lower the risk of breast and ovarian cancer. Studies have shown that, for every 12 months of breastfeeding, the risk of breast cancer is decreased by 4%. On the other hand, it boosts your little one’s immune system. Breast milk has plenty of health-promoting and germ-fighting components.

5) Breastfeeding aids the uterus to shrink down to pre-pregnancy size.

As aforementioned, when the baby starts breastfeeding, it causes the mother’s body to release oxytocin. As the brain signals the release of this hormone, mild cramping occurs in your lower abdomen. The cramping is not comfortable, but it’s a positive sign that the uterus is healing.

6) It helps you make up for lost sleep

Babies are amazing bundles of joy. But their arrival is marked with interrupted sleep for breastfeeding. Although this makes new moms tired, it brings an added benefit. The steady release of oxytocin during breastfeeding enables you to make up for the lost sleep. Oxytocin brings a soothing effect and makes you more relaxed.

In most cases, new moms fall asleep while breastfeeding not because they are exhausted but because of the release of the hormone. Those 10 to 20 minutes nap helps you recover some of the lost sleep. Besides, even if you don’t sleep the calming feeling leaves your body rejuvenated.

7) Breastfeeding is cost and time saving

Did you know breastfeeding brings numerous financial benefits? Many new moms don’t realize this fact because they take it to be a normal event. Breastfeeding is free and time-saving. You do not have to rush to the nearest store; the milk is readily available.
If you want to see that breast milk is tremendously cost-effective, compare it to artificial milk. The cost estimate for artificial milk is roughly $1800/year, this without the extra preparation costs. This amount can be put to good use like buying the best formula for treating spitting up and gas.

Also, if your baby is well breastfed he/she will fall sick less often. This will translate to reduced healthcare cost. Parents who don’t breastfeed their babies miss work about six times more due to baby illness than those who breastfeed well.

8) Breastfeeding is environment-friendly

Breast milk is the most natural and organic food for your baby. It produces no waste, reduces the carbon footprint, and above all it’s a sustainable means for feeding your baby with no negative impact on our environment.

9) Breastfeeding is a reliable way of birth control

In most countries around the world, breastfeeding is a renowned, natural method of birth control. When utilized effectively, this method can yield up to 98% success. This birth control method is called Lactation Amenorrhea Method (LAM) and relies on four pillars to succeed. The principles include:

  • The mom must be exclusively breastfeeding
  • The baby must be less than six months old
  • The mom’s menstrual cycle has not resumed
  • The baby is not sleeping more than 6 hours at night and 4 hours in the day.

If the mentioned conditions change, you must seek an alternative method of birth control.

Wrapping it up

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist and the American Academy of Pediatrics are among the numerous medical authorities that strongly advocate breastfeeding. This is mainly attributed to the health benefits that both the baby and the mother get. You and your little one are inimitable; the decision to breastfeed or not is hinged solely on your personal preference. However, if you take into account all the incredible benefits we’ve highlighted, nothing is going to stop you from breastfeeding your baby.


About The Author:

Jessica is the mother of one, a Chief, and a lover of the great ideas. You can find her journey through motherhood on her blog Take Care Baby (

An opinion of a poster to The Loveshade Family Blog does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family. Nothing in this article should be interpreted as medical advice; consult with a physician before making decisions on baby care and contraception.

The Second Amendment is Dead

Image from

Image from

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, born 226 years ago today, is dead.  Defunct.  And it has been dead for a long time.

Many of you will say it’s not dead.  It’s never been revoked, it’s still in the Constitution, and it’s still the law.  And I would agree.  But as it existed originally, and from a practical point of view, it’s deceased.

The Second Amendment harkens back to the American Declaration of Independence.  No less that President Abraham Lincoln believed that the Constitution should be interpreted through the Declaration’s principles, according to Abraham Lincoln and the Second American Revolution by historian James M. McPherson.  And that says it is “the Right of the People to alter or abolish” a despotic government. “It is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.” It is “the Right of the People to alter or abolish it.”

To throw off a hostile government, and to provide guards for the future, means having and using arms.  The right to bear arms goes back much further, back 100 years to the English Bill of Rights of 1689.  And in the 21st century in District of Columbia v. Heller (2008), the Supreme Court proclaimed the right to bear arms was “clearly an individual right, having nothing whatsoever to do with service in the militia.”

While the nation’s founders did not state a constitutional right of the people to “throw off such Government” once they founded a government, they did continue the tradition of giving people, including individuals, the right to bear arms.  In 1791, the Second Amendment passed which says, “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

So why do I say the Second Amendment is dead?  At its acceptance, and by the traditions that preceded it, it gave people the right to bear arms against a government.  From a practical point of view, that means people having arms that could be used to defeat a nation.

In 1791, this was entirely practical.  A person of relatively modest means could buy a Kentucky long rifle, then arguably the most effective weapon in existence.  (I’ll leave it to munitions experts to debate on whether a field gun or something else was most effective, but in any case, a person could buy one).  For something larger, you and your associates could buy and use a real, deadly cannon like members of private groups, including the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts, used.

But things have changed, radically.  There was the Civil War’s Gatling gun, which was nearly an automatic weapon; and the 1880s Maxim gun, which was.  These weapons were not readily available, and were very expensive.  The Second Amendment, in its original meaning as interpreted through the Declaration of Independence, was dying.

In today’s world, it’s all over.  None of us can go to our local gun shop and pick up a arsenal of thermonuclear weapons.  And you can’t go to Walmart to get yourself a nuclear submarine and an armed aircraft carrier.  They’re too expensive, and too illegal.  That’s what someone in the modern world would realistically need to “throw off such Government.”  Thus, by its original meaning, the Second Amendment is dead.

An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Presidents v. The Constitution

Then President Barack Obama and then President Elect Donald Trump (Pete Souza).

Then President Barack Obama and then President Elect Donald Trump (Pete Souza).

We live in a political era in which several Americans presidents in a row have been severely criticized, often with claims they violated the U.S. Constitution, and hit with calls for their removal.  The current one, Donald Trump, is certainly no exception.

Just in the last few days, a senator claimed President Trump had “castrated” the Secretary of State; Trump named a woman who denies climate change and who calls wind and solar power parasitic to be energy advisor; Trump’s campaign has been subpoenaed over sexual assault charges; and U.S. states are suing over Trump’s move to destroy the Affordable Care Act.

While the numbers of such battles and accusations is very high right now, battles between the president and constitutionalists is nothing new.  To put a perspective on what’s happening now, it may be time to reflect on battles that happened before Donald Trump or Barack Obama before him were elected to America’s highest office.

Even back then, Andrew P. Napolitano noted in The Wall Street Journal that Most Presidents Ignore the Constitution.

JANUS-Tête-à-Tête photo by Pete Souza. This image is a work of an employee of the Executive Office of the President of the United States, taken or made as part of that person’s official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain.

The Media is a Myth


“The news media in the West pose a far greater danger to Western civilization than Russia does.” — Tweet by Dennis Prager

People talk about “the media” almost as much as they talk about “they.” But who are “they?” And what is “the media?”

“Media” is the plural of “medium.” A medium, in the media sense, is something that’s used by one person to communicate a message to others. “The media” includes every single medium. Every newspaper is part of “the media.” So is every magazine. So is every radio station, television station, movie distributor, blog host, chat group, social network. “The media” is Twitter and Google+ and My Space and Instagram and Facebook. Everyone who communicates on paper, radio, television, film, or Internet is part of “they” and part of “the media.”

“The Media” is actually a concept that exists in the human mind. But in terms of physical reality, there is no such thing as “the media.” You can’t smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, or see it. You can sense a part of it, like watch a television news program or listen to a radio show or read this blog post.

But what about the conspiracy of “the liberal media” or “the conservative media?” I’ve worked for “the media” for a long time. I’ve written for newspapers, magazines, books, radio, television, the Internet, and more. For years I wrote five days a week for a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper. I don’t remember even once being told if I was supposed to be liberal or conservative. And I don’t remember ever talking to someone who worked for another medium to coordinate what slant we were going to give to the news. I was much too busy doing my job.

But Dennis Prager, and apparently many others, sees the media in the West as a vast conspiracy, a greater threat to America than Russia. Interestingly, Dennis Prager is a radio show host (media), a columnist (media), an author (media), a public speaker (media), and has his own “Prager University” which is actually his media company (media) that posts on Facebook (media), all coming from the West….

Photo of Dennis Prager by Gage Skidmore is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Dennis Prager’s tweet is here.

An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Emma Watson Can’t Be Sexy!

This photo of Emma Watson is by Georges Biard (and “censored” by us). It is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Emma Watson must stop claiming to be a feminist right now! I don’t care if she has been a champion for women’s rights.  I don’t care if she has a HeForShe campaign for personism or equal rights, or wrote a feminist book, or has been a UN Women’s Goodwill Ambassador.

She posed for Vanity Fair in a photo that shows parts of the bottoms of her breasts.  Her feminism days are over!  Feminists cannot show certain parts of their bodies in public!  They certainly cannot appear to be sexual beings.  Men can, but women can’t.  That’s a fundamental part of feminist thought, that women aren’t allowed to do the same things that men….


Emma Watson’s Boobs Prove Why We Still Need Feminism

I acknowledge the Vanity Fair appearance was earlier this year.  However, I believe this still, unfortunately, applies.

An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.


The War is Over

Exhibit in the Wisconsin Veterans Museum, Madison, Wisconsin, USA. Photo, taken by Daderot, released into the public domain.

Confederate flag exhibit in the Wisconsin Veterans Museum, Madison, Wisconsin, USA. Photo, taken by Daderot, released into the public domain.

Little known historical fact: the American Civil War, aka the War Between the States, is over.  It ended in 1865.

I say that because it appears many people are still trying to fight that war.

I remember years ago visiting the capitol of Alabama in Montgomery.  I was astonished to see both the flag of the United States of America, and the flag of the Confederate States of America, flying above the capitol building.

It was not that I had anything against the flag of the Confederacy being at the capitol.  It is a part of Alabama’s history.  Many brave and noble people lost their properties and their lives fighting for their homes, for Alabama, and for their view of America.  The war, in many ways the most costly in American history, should not be forgotten.  The Confederacy should not be forgotten, nor should its flags.  I would have been perfectly happy seeing the flag openly displayed inside the capitol building.

But Alabama has not been part of the Confederacy since 1865.  Neither has Texas.  Texas has been under the flags of six different nations, including itself.  Those fly over Six Flags amusement parks, as well they should.  But not over the capitol, any more than the capitol of California should fly the flag of Mexico.  Nor should Washington D.C. proclaim allegiance to the Nacotchtank.  They inhabited the land long before Captain John Smith discovered them at the beginning of the 17th century, and even longer before it became the capital of America.  But the flag that flies over the center of government should represent that government and its allegiance, not allegiance to another nation.

We’re now having a battle over statues of the Confederacy.  Again, I have no problem with the statutes themselves, even after I learned there were more erected during the assertion of Jim Crow laws over “negros” than at any other time.

But if they’re displayed, they should be displayed as a symbol of American history.  They should not be a sign of its allegiance.

An opinion of an individual member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the entire family.

Breastfeeding Week 2017

Photograph Australian artist Joy Hester nursing her son Sweeney. In the background can be seen a painting by 'Professor' Henry Tipper (Harold Deering), a trick cyclist and amateur painter whose work was discovered and promoted by Albert Tucker. Shot in 1945, the photo is in the public domain.

Photograph Australian artist Joy Hester nursing her son Sweeney. In the background can be seen a painting by ‘Professor’ Henry Tipper (Harold Deering), a trick cyclist and amateur painter whose work was discovered and promoted by Albert Tucker. Shot in 1945, the photo is in the public domain.

It’s time to celebrate breastfeeding with World Breastfeeding Week between Aug. 1 and 7, 2017. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing a mother and child can do. And yet it’s shunned in many parts of the world. Mothers have been threatened and fired and even injured for wanting to take good care of their babies.

Breastfeeding is important for nourishment and the immune system and the bond it forms between mother and child. Even men can build a better relationship with a child held to their bare chest as skin-to-skin contact is critically important to a developing infant.

Learn more about breastfeeding and World Breastfeeding Week at

See also “The 111 Benefits of Breastfeeding – For Babies, Moms & Everyone Else.”  This has some commercial links, but most of the links are to information from the United States Government.

An opinion of an individual member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Bullies, Protests, and Politics: An Analogy

Image is linked from Copyright remains with the copyright holder.

Image is linked from Copyright remains with the copyright holder.

An opinion by guest blogger Kristofer James

I want to think that analogies may help people understand who truly don’t. This is my simple analogy for anyone who keeps wondering “why in the heck are these people protesting?” This is only my opinion, and it is very simplified, and it does not represent everyone who protested…. This is only my opinion–maybe even an alternative fact…

I think of all the strong women descendants of Luella Biler who have made an impact on me when I write many of the things I do. I see their faces as I type. They give me strength, and it is a proud strength. They are my family, and I love them.

So…My analogy…

The classmate who has been known for being a bully (maybe he’s changed, maybe he says he doesn’t even bully anymore, maybe bullied only in the locker room) gets elected to class president. He is inaugurated.

The next day, those who have been bullied by him are maybe joined by others across the land–maybe even the world–who have experienced being bullied, and they rally together, just to remind everyone, especially the newly-elected class President, that they will not put up with bullying anymore. They have been united because of something they have experienced together. They believe that the experiences they share are important on a human level, and want to try to do what they can so that they, and future generations, may be able to live without being bullied. They have that fundamental human right to do so.

And let’s say that for most of the last 100 years, those who have been bullied have not always been protected under the law (maybe the first law to try to protect them was enacted in 1920).

Maybe there are some who were never bullied, so maybe they don’t understand it on the level of those who have been bullied. But to just dismiss it as nothing important is just not very insightful, or empathetic, yet we have grown up in a society that says we should be empathetic and insightful.

But I digress…

They rally because it gives a voice. It makes sure we move forward, not backwards…It lets those who have bullied, or who currently bully, or who are inclined to bully, know that bullying is understood and that it will no longer be tolerated. It lets those who endure bullying know that they are not alone.

They know that it is quite possible that bullying will never be completely eradicated, but at least they rally together to ensure it is not forgotten. They keep in in the light. Awareness.

Maybe some of those who have never experienced bullying first hand know someone who has, and they stand proudly beside them.

Please don’t dismiss them. You know someone who has been bullied, so don’t act like you don’t. And if you have been bullied, don’t act like you haven’t been.

The opinion of an individual blogger does not necessarily reflect that of all members of The Loveshade Family.  Kristofer James has worked in the entertainment industry including work for Inland Stage and as a director in the MSJC theatre department.  The original Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild, which created the Order of the Pineapple and led to the creation of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild, began at MSJC.  The most recent honorees of The Order are named Here.

“Don’t bully…be a friend” image is from

Alden Loveshade: Why Wait Til I’m Dead?


IMPORTANT: As of this posting, Alden Loveshade is very much alive.

Alden has been to far too many funerals/memorial services in the past few years, losing a father, two brothers, uncle, cousin, etc.  So many times it’s come up: “Gee, I wish I said that when he/she was still alive.”

Well, this is your chance. Feel free to post what you’d post if Alden really was gone.  Then, when the time comes, you can say, “Gee, I’m glad I said that when e was still alive.”  Note that Alden has professionally published 2,000 or so obituaries, and couldn’t resist co-writing his own.

Alden Loveshade, writer, photographer, personist, philosopher, animal caregiver, friend and family member, has died.  In accordance with es wishes, this article uses the genderless “e” for “he,” “es” for “his,” etc.

E graduated with distinction with an Associate Degree in Humanities from MSJC.  E was a member of the national honor society Phi Theta Kappa, co-editor of the campus newspaper, editor of student publications, homecoming king (winning with a bag over es head), two-term student government president, and area vice president and state board member for the California Community College Student Government Association.  While at college e was a winner of a Student Leadership Award and a Special Leadership Award and was named to the Order of the Pineapple.  The U. S. Jaycees named him as one of the Outstanding Young Men in America.

Returning to college, Alden graduated Summa cum Laud from California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, with a Bachelor’s Degree in Theatre Arts and a minor in Chicano/Latino Studies.  E also became a member of the Golden Key National Honor Society.  E was co-creator and head writer of “Same River Twice,” a university-produced English language telenovela that won Best Film for Inland California Filmmakers, Smog Dance 1999, and was featured in the New York Latino Film Festival that same year.

It was produced with advice from Oscar and Emmy Award winning cinematographer Haskell Wexler, and under Executive Producer, writer, radio personality, documentarian and Emmy Award Winner Saul Landau.

E was also a director and playwright with several produced plays, including “A Very Bad One Act” directed by Daytime Emmy-Award nominee Ronald Layne Hoffman.  He worked as a reporter, newspaper columnist, book reviewer, researcher, investigative consultant, computer lab supervisor, teacher, web site designer, photographer, animal caregiver, and dishwasher.

E also published articles, short stories, poems, essays, play and movie reviews, cartoons, graphic designs, and photographs.  His work has appeared in a number of local, national and international publications under a variety of pennames.  Under the name Alden Loveshade, es work as appeared in a number of publications including Anaphora Literary Press, BBC, Flight Magazine, Guideposts Magazine, Hemet Magazine, Hungur Magazine, Intermittens Magazine, Sixfold Magazine, Yahoo! News, and Yahoo! Sports.  He also wrote under different names for a number of other publications including being a regular writer and photographer for a Pulitzer Prize winning periodical that is one of the 100 top newspapers in America.

As a singer, actor, playwright, director and in various other capacities, e was involved with about 200 community, college, civic, and professional productions on stage and in radio and television including choral, musical, drama, tragedy, comic, and one-act productions. E appeared in the world premiere of Will Eisner Award Hall of Famer Don Martin and Ron Hoffman’s mini-musical Mia Romantica Crazio.

E was a controversial activist who emphasized five basic beliefs.  These are 1) the rights of the individual, 2) the responsibilities of the individual to society, 3) the responsibility of parents and caregivers to prepare a child for life, 4) complete personal freedom in a free society if it harms no one, and 5) harmonious discord, accepting differences.  As a journalistic activist and investigator, e faced threats of incarceration and even death threats by phone, email, letter, and in person.  E spent time living on the street, and escaped after capture by an armed assailant.  Considering emself a “personist,” e promoted the use of the words “e,” “es,” and “emself” as substitutes for “he/she,” “his/her,” and “himself/herself.”

Es hobbies included historical recreation, acting, drumming, bicycling, being a lord of Sealand, and role-playing games, especially GURPS for which e was a playtester.

In lieu of flowers, it’s asked that donations be made to a favorite charity or group that supports the five basic beliefs.

IMPORTANT: As of this posting, Alden Loveshade is very much alive.