The Flood and the Useless Path

My home is in danger of flooding. That’s what I faced yesterday afternoon.

If you don’t know, I live in the country in Texas. We’ve had record rain the past couple of weeks; not record for the year, but for a short time period. A few years ago, when we did have record rain for the year, I used a hoe and a shovel to build up the edge of the back tank (pond) to prevent it overflowing and flooding into the house. The path from the tank goes straight to the house, and it goes downhill. But I still felt overcautious; I didn’t expect the water level to ever go higher than the record.

Well, I checked it yesterday afternoon. The bank I’d built up was almost at the point of overflowing. The water was higher than it has ever been. My home was in danger. It would be a major project building up the bank, and that would be in the rain and the soon-coming dark. With nothing but a hoe and a shovel. There didn’t seem to be any way I could do it in time.

But then I thought of something. Earlier this year I cleared a curved, side path through the brush and the trees with a hoe, a shovel, and a saw. Clearing it in my spare time, it took me months to do. It had no practical purpose whatsoever (other than giving me exercise). The straight path went to the same place. The side path was technically redundant, useless. But the brush and trees had grown so thick after that record rain of a few years ago, I had no place to go where I could feel like I was in the woods without seeing a building. So I made the curved, impractical path–that was slightly lower than the surrounding area.

So for an hour and a half in the rain, I used a hoe and shovel. It was enough. Now, if the back tank does overflow, the water will flow over the bank of the tank, start down the straight path, then detour down the lower curved side path and harmlessly into the woods.

That path may have saved my home.

So remember that the next time you think something is “useless.”

An opinion of an individual members of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the entire family.

The photo is by Walter Siegmund and is not by Alden’s home. It is under a GNU 1.2 or later license.

Preteen Space Force

In the preteen stage, the individual goes through changes that are shocking to himself or herself, and to everyone else.

All right, so the articles “Preteen” and “Donald Trump declares Space Force” are not connected.  Other than they’re both satire, both on Uncyclopedia, and both written by a member or associate of The Loveshade Family.

Preteen” by Miley Spears (with help) was chosen as the feature article on Uncyclopedia.

“Everybody will look up in the sky and ask is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Space Force!”

Donald Trump declares Space Force” by Alden Loveshade (with help) was chosen as the lead UnNews story on Uncyclopedia and appears in a slightly different form on the other Uncyclopedia.

Enjoy.

Photo credits appear on the respective articles.

The linked articles do not necessarily reflect the views of The Loveshade Family or of any preteen or resident of planet Earth.

For Father’s Day America Steals Children

United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions is using a Bible verse to justify ripping children away from their parents. They’ll hint the parents might not get their children back. The government actually admits they’re using this as a threat.

What kind of country is America anyway? Call or write your representatives!

Jeff Sessions uses Bible to justify taking children

Stephen Colbert on Jeff Sessions and taking away kids

An opinion of an individual associate or member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

X-Day is Coming. Are You?

“X-Day is a traditional part of the Church of the SubGenius, a religion formed as a parody of cults and extreme religious groups, and their pamphlets and claims. X-Day fell on July 5, 1998, the scheduled ‘end of the world’ and has been celebrated on July 5 each year since then. From its inception in 1980, the Church had prophesied that an army of alien invaders (known as the “X-ists” or “Men From Planet X”) would land on the planet Earth and destroy the world of “normals”, “pinks”, and “glorps,” while the members of the Church of the SubGenius would be rescued by the aliens and taken away into space.” — Wikipedia

The X-Day Devival actually begins before July 5. Don’t be late!

X-Day 21 poster as seen at the link above is used to illustrate the event; no threat to copyright is intended.

An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflects of the whole family.

Donald Trump is The Best at Everything

How many times have you heard Donald Trump brag about how terrific he is? Here’s more.

Donald Trump Can’t Stop Congratulating Himself

Trump, quite simply, is the best at everything. Believe him.

Posted by The Trumpster Fire by HuffPost on Wednesday, February 28, 2018

An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

The image of Donald Trump was identified by a news service as being in the public domain, but did not identify the photographer.

White Evangelical Christian Hypocrisy

Donald Trump and Barack Obama.  How you speak about them tells more about you than it does about them.  And you may not like what people are seeing.

If you want to skip my introduction, you can go and read John Pavlovitz’s editorial White Evangelicals, This is Why People Are Through With You.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s hypocrisy.  If you recall, Jesus of Nazareth didn’t tolerate it either.  And right now, America is rampant with it.

This isn’t just about Donald Trump and Barack Obama.  This isn’t just about politics.  It’s about fundamental Christian values.  To understand where I’m coming from, you need to understand where I came from.

I was raised in church.  For churches, I was a child acolyte, child/teen/adult choir member, janitor, website and business card designer, Bible school worker, assistant production director, production director, young adult group leader, adult Sunday school teacher, communion server, bylaws reviser, and administrative board member.

I am classified as Caucasian, and I voted in the last presidential primary as Republican.

With that in mind, I remember how Jesus loved and helped sinners, but spoke very, very strongly against religious hypocrisy.  Like what is happening in America right now.

Now please read John Pavlovitz’s editorial White Evangelicals, This is Why People Are Through With You.  It says what I would say if John hadn’t already said it very, very well.

An opinion of an individual members of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Order of the Pineapple 2018: Gypsie Skripto and Toby Bruno

Pat Pineapple as drawn by Toby Bruno.

It is time once again to announce the 2018 winners of the Order of the Pineapple. (This is only awarded once a year on January 18 aka Pat Pineapple Day).

The honorees for 2018 are: Gypsie Skripto and Toby Bruno.

Toby Bruno is a founding member of the Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild which began the Order of the Pineapple. As the group was beginning, Toby brought in the artists. A contributor to the Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht which talks about the OP, Toby is the first illustrator of OP mascot Pat Pineapple. (Some would say Toby created the mascot, but we all know Pat already existed).

Gypsie Skripto was a little girl when given the Discordian name Porky Pigsties by Discordianism co-founder Greg Hill. Gypsie contributed to Principia Discordia for Loompanics; Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, Principia Harmonia, Intermittens, Five Finger Discord, and a number of websites. A hostess for Shamlicht Kids Club events, Gypsie is also a pagan high priestess.

The Order of the Pineapple is also called the DisOrder of the Pineapple and the Pineapple DisOrder, but it’s usually abbreviated O.P.  (The award has also been called Patus Pineappleus Bromeliadic and the winners The P.P. Bromeliadics or Bromedliaddicts). It honors those who have given extraordinary service to “the participatorial study of comedic attitudes and eccentric tendencies.”  The O.P. is awarded to very few people, those who are especially servicey.  It’s presented on only one day a year, January 18 CE, which is 18 Chaos of the Discordian calendar.  That date is recognized as Pat Pineapple Day.  Pat is the Mascot of the ECG and Patron Saint of the D D of the ECG.  It is absolutely required that members of the Order eat something containing or resembling pineapple on January 18–unless of course they don’t feel like it.

Congratulations to them both!

Order of the Pineapple

Order of the Pineapple Wiki (this is just beginning and could use your help!)

Stop the Church of the SubGenius!

Slacking Towards Bethlehem is a “fake news” propaganda documentary under development. It blasphemously claims Rev. Ivan Stang, Dr. Philo Drummond, and Dr. X founded the Church of the SubGenius instead of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs and Constance Marsh “Connie” Dobbs!

The documentary is currently being funded on Kickstarter. If the Church doesn’t meet its goal, it receives nothing.

All True SubGenii, and those who want to be, should go there and fund the project–until it’s 1 cent short. Then stop donating! This will destroy the project, because if they’re one cent short they get NOTHING! And it will humiliate the FAKE CHURCH. The project ends Wed, November 8 2017 17:00 hrs UTC, so donate by then and STOP THE NEW CHURCH!

An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

The Media is a Myth

Dennis_Prager_by_Gage_Skidmore_media_danger_quote

“The news media in the West pose a far greater danger to Western civilization than Russia does.” — Tweet by Dennis Prager

People talk about “the media” almost as much as they talk about “they.” But who are “they?” And what is “the media?”

“Media” is the plural of “medium.” A medium, in the media sense, is something that’s used by one person to communicate a message to others. “The media” includes every single medium. Every newspaper is part of “the media.” So is every magazine. So is every radio station, television station, movie distributor, blog host, chat group, social network. “The media” is Twitter and Google+ and My Space and Instagram and Facebook. Everyone who communicates on paper, radio, television, film, or Internet is part of “they” and part of “the media.”

“The Media” is actually a concept that exists in the human mind. But in terms of physical reality, there is no such thing as “the media.” You can’t smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, or see it. You can sense a part of it, like watch a television news program or listen to a radio show or read this blog post.

But what about the conspiracy of “the liberal media” or “the conservative media?” I’ve worked for “the media” for a long time. I’ve written for newspapers, magazines, books, radio, television, the Internet, and more. For years I wrote five days a week for a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper. I don’t remember even once being told if I was supposed to be liberal or conservative. And I don’t remember ever talking to someone who worked for another medium to coordinate what slant we were going to give to the news. I was much too busy doing my job.

But Dennis Prager, and apparently many others, sees the media in the West as a vast conspiracy, a greater threat to America than Russia. Interestingly, Dennis Prager is a radio show host (media), a columnist (media), an author (media), a public speaker (media), and has his own “Prager University” which is actually his media company (media) that posts on Facebook (media), all coming from the West….

Photo of Dennis Prager by Gage Skidmore is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Dennis Prager’s tweet is here.

An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Go Topless Day 10th Anniversary Aug. 26

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Image is copyrighted by Go Topless at gotopless.org. It’s used here to publicize their sponsored event.

Is there really a reason men can go topless and women can’t? Should women blindfold their babies and toddlers before they let them nurse? This isn’t about nudism, it’s about feminism and personism.

To show that women should have the same rights as men, the 10th anniversary GoTopless Day peaceful protest is Saturday, Aug. 26, 2017.  It’s always near the Sunday nearest Women’s Equality Day when women got the right to vote for gender equality.

Women and girls can go topless (or with their nipples covered, usually with fake nipples, if they’re marching in a prudish area), and men can wear bikini tops and bras.  To find out if it’s happening near you, and if women can go fully topfree or not, check here.

An opinion of a friend or associate of The Loveshade Family doesn’t necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.