Predictions for 2010

I know you've all been waiting for this all year, so here it is.
Here are my predictions for 2010 (actually, other members of The Loveshade Family contributed to this; they just don't want to admit it):
* The HEALTH CARE REFORM so praised by Americans (that is, those who don't have health care), will not work as planned. Detractors will say it's a huge waste of money, and will put America in the toilet. However, supporters will say it's at least better than it was, and it will continue to get better. Rush Limbaugh will say at least I'm still alive.
* ELVIS PRESLEY will be spotted in a shopping mall in New Jersey.
* The AMERICAN ECONOMY will show significant improvement; Democrats will claim it's because of their fine work, while Republicans will claim it's because of improvements made while George W. Bush was still president.
* An American group will work very hard to prove that BARACK OBAMA DOESN'T QUALIFY AS PRESIDENT. The group will be suspected of having ties to a dissident group overseas.
* The supposedly dim-witted PARIS HILTON will still maintain the facade of being dim-witted, but will none-the-less cleverly manage to get herself in the news for yet another scandal.
* A male AMERICAN ICON of purity and wholesomeness will be caught with his hand somewhere people don't think it belongs; i.e., in someone else's pocket.
* A female BRITISH ICON of purity and wholesomeness will be caught exposing a portion of her anatomy that the prudish will not think should be exposed.
* The Law that DEATHS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN FIVES will once again be proven this year. At least of those deaths will be unexpected, a famous singer, and a famous actor.
* QUEEN ELIZABETH I will not die, but will have a significant medical problem. (Sorry, your Majesty).
* A major figure in the MIDDLE EAST will be violently killed.
* In the United Kingdom, there will be renewed interest in an ANCIENT ACTIVITY. It will be something that's been popular in North America for years.
* HIP HOP will still be popular with many, and still hated by many others.
* I will perform a legally-recognized DISCORDIAN WEDDING, and there will be much rejoicing.
If you remember 1990s American television, you likely remember Miyam Bialik as Blossom. Blossom was the teen who hung around with Six and had a clueless brother named Joey. Now Bialik is becoming known for alternative or holistic parenting.
The California legislature is scrambling to fix the snafu that is forcing two Southern California elementary schools to stay open an extra 34 days. Susie Lange, California Department of Education's deputy superintendent of fiscal services, said "To the average person, it sounds like crazy bureaucracy that we count the number of minutes,"
Students at two elementary schools in San Bernardino, California, exceeded the number of required minutes to be in school. So they're off on summer vacation, right? Wrong. Instead, they have 34 more days of school. Instead of getting out on in the middle of June, they're supposed to stay until the end of July.
13-year-old Alfie Patten, who got front-page recognition as the father of his 15-year-old girlfriend's baby, is not the father.
The father of a United Kingdom boy who impregnated a girl when he was age 12 plans to have a talk with his son about sex.
Shackling teens for 12 hours a day; physically and sexually abusing teen girls and teen boys; stripping teenage girls naked and forcing them to eat their own vomit: These are correction methods that have been investigated by various agencies, including the U. S. Department of Justice. Now the Columbia Training School of Columbia, Mississippi, which has been the site of much of this controversy, is being shut down.
Once again, Texas has the highest teen birth rate of any state in the United States. Interestingly, Texas has a policy of denying contraceptives without parental consent and strongly promotes abstinence-only sex education in public schools.
In 1892, Horner Plessy, a "colored" shoemaker, was locked up in jail for sitting in the "White" car of the East Louisiana Railroad. With a series of failed appeals, the Plessy v. Ferguson case of 1896 established that the principle "separate but equal" was legally valid in the United States of America.
