Alden Loveshade: Why Wait Til I’m Dead?


IMPORTANT: As of this posting (and as of 2020 January 14 as comments are again being accepted), Alden Loveshade is very much alive.

Alden has been to far too many funerals/memorial services in the past few years, parent(s), sibling(s), uncle(s), aunt(s), cousin(s), etc.  So many times it’s come up: “Gee, I wish I said that when he/she was still alive.”

Well, this is your chance. Feel free to post what you’d post if Alden really was gone.  Then, when the time comes, you can say, “Gee, I’m glad I said that when e was still alive.”  Note that Alden has professionally written 2,000 or so published obituaries, and couldn’t resist co-writing this one.

Alden Loveshade, writer, photographer, personist, philosopher, animal caregiver, friend and family member, has died.  In accordance with es wishes, this article uses the genderless “e” for “he,” “es” for “his,” etc.

E graduated with distinction with an Associate Degree in Humanities from [REDACTED].  E was a member of the national honor society Phi Theta Kappa, co-editor of the campus newspaper, editor of student publications, homecoming king (winning with a bag over es head), two-term student government president, and area vice president and state board member for the California Community College Student Government Association.  While at college e was a winner of a Student Leadership Award and a Special Leadership Award.  The U. S. Jaycees named him as one of the Outstanding Young Men in America.

Returning to college, Alden graduated Summa cum Laude from [REDACTED], with a Bachelor’s Degree in Theatre Arts and a minor in Chicano/Latino Studies.  E also became a member of the Golden Key National Honor Society.  E was co-creator and head writer of “Same River Twice,” a university-produced English language telenovela that won Best Film for Inland California Filmmakers, Smog Dance 1999, and was featured in the New York Latino Film Festival that same year.

It was produced with advice from Oscar and Emmy Award winning cinematographer Haskell Wexler, and under Executive Producer, writer, radio personality, documentarian and Emmy Award Winner Saul Landau.

E was also a director and playwright with several produced plays, including “A Very Bad One Act” directed by Daytime Emmy-Award nominee Ronald Layne Hoffman.  He worked as a reporter, newspaper columnist, book reviewer, researcher, investigative consultant, computer lab supervisor, teacher, web site designer, photographer, animal caregiver, and dishwasher.

E also published articles, short stories, poems, essays, play and movie reviews, cartoons, graphic designs, and photographs.  His work has appeared in a number of local, national and international publications under a variety of pennames.  Under the name Alden Loveshade, es work as appeared in products of Anaphora Literary Press, BBC, Daily Nooze,, Flight Magazine, Flying Buffalo, Hungur Magazine, Intermittens Magazine, Sixfold Magazine, Yahoo! News, and Yahoo! Sports.  He also wrote under different names for a number of other publications including being a news and feature writer, columnist, and photographer for a Pulitzer Prize winning periodical that is one of the 100 top circulation newspapers in America.

As a singer, actor, playwright, director and in various other capacities, e was involved with about 200 community, college, civic, and professional productions on stage and in radio and television including choral, musical, drama, tragedy, comic, and one-act productions. E appeared in the world premiere of Will Eisner Award Hall of Famer Don Martin and Ron Hoffman’s mini-musical Mia Romantica Crazio.

E was a controversial activist who emphasized five basic beliefs.  These are 1) the rights of the individual, 2) the responsibilities of the individual to society, 3) the responsibility of parents and caregivers to prepare a child for life, 4) complete personal freedom in a free society if it harms no one, and 5) harmonious discord, accepting differences.  As a journalistic activist and investigator, e faced threats of incarceration and even death threats by phone, email, letter, and in person.  E spent time living on the street, and escaped after capture by an armed assailant.  Considering emself a “personist,” e promoted the use of the words “e,” “es,” and “emself” as substitutes for “he/she,” “his/her,” and “himself/herself.”

Es hobbies included historical recreation, acting, drumming, bicycling, being a lord of Sealand, and role-playing games, especially GURPS for which e was a playtester.

In lieu of flowers, it’s asked that donations be made to a favorite charity or group that supports the five basic beliefs.

IMPORTANT: As of this posting, Alden Loveshade is very much alive.

EDIT: Due to some people trying to cause problems for Alden and associates, it was felt that, unfortunately, some details here should be removed or hidden.

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49 Responses to Alden Loveshade: Why Wait Til I’m Dead?

  1. Miley Spears says:

    Oh please say it’s not true! (Because it isn’t). How could this happen? Alden was such a wonderful guy and so much fun. He’s family. I’m a writer because of him and now I can’t think of anything to write. He was my adopted son on uncyclopedia and I was his adopted daughter on facebook. I love him and I’ll miss him so much. I love you son and daddy! :'(

  2. Miley Spears says:

    I just noticed they left off The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and Associated Press! Alden wrote great articles for AP and marvelous stories. And he wrote feature stories for Uncyclopedia. You should add those!

    • Without confirming nor denying that Alden published with them, the article lists some of the publications where the author’s name appeared as “Alden Loveshade.” It does not list those where e was only published under a different name.

    • Pope Hilde says:

      His-es-contributions to Discordianism are also deep and vast but little know.

  3. Vernon King Avaritt III says:

    Alden’s accomplishments are to numerous to talk about. E has been one of my best friends. E got me started in role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons and GURPS. E encouraged me to write. I would be nothing if it weren’t for Alden. Alden had a great mind and there will never be another person like im. Goodbye Alden and I will miss you. Crap.

  4. Vernon King Avaritt III says:

    Alden! You better not die on me. XC

  5. Pet Girl says:

    How can Alden be gone? He introduced me to GURPS and 1KBWC and helped keep me out of trouble even though I get in trouble anyway. He helps ppl a lot with their problems that should be in there too! He helped me get back on Facebook after they banned me. He really listened.

  6. Rev. Bootie says:

    This is just about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. But OK I’ll play along.

    May Goddess Eris hold your hand — and not drop you. And if she does, may you land safely in a bathtub of whipped cream.

  7. TawTew the Naturally Perfumed says:

    Alden was one of the most caring, intelligent, creative, and loving people I have ever known. He got along well with many different kinds of people and kids loved him. And he did it all with Asperger syndrome, Autism 1. I will spend time reading his work and looking at his photos and keeping his memory alive in my heart.

    “And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus.”

    Principia Discordia, Pg 00058

  8. Pope Hilde says:

    I heard about this and had to post. Alden was a fascination writer who cared about issues and people. Read his articles on Yahoo. John F. Kennedy and Kerry Thornley, pet care, women’s rights in the courts, poetry, Christianity. He could write about anything. As long as we read his work, he lives on.

    • As it happens, Yahoo has discontinued its professional contributor program. All articles and images to which the writer still owned rights (as was true of all of Alden’s work for Yahoo) were removed by Yahoo.

  9. What can I possibly say about Alden? I cannot believe e is gone. I met Alden online when I was only 12 years old. E gave me advice on how to stay safe online and I followed it. We knew each other online for years before we met and have seen each other several times. Alden gave me advice for high school, for college, and for teaching. Alden hugged me and helped me and held my hand. Alden is one of the most wonderful people I ever met.

    Alden held The Loveshade Family together. I do not think we could go on as a family without em.

  10. Mindy Yuko says:

    Alden such a wonderful guy. I cannot believe e is gone. Lorien and I saw him many times and e was always great. Poor Lorien has hugged me and cried all day long and I cried too. Read es writing and write e instead of he or she!

  11. Herr Bookmonger says:

    A bit of dialog:
    Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead!
    [A large man appears with a (seemingly) dead man over his shoulder]
    Large Man: Here’s one.
    Dead Collector: Nine pence.
    “Dead” Man: I’m not dead.
    Dead Collector: What?
    Large Man: Nothing. [hands the collector his money] There’s your nine pence.
    “Dead” Man: I’m not dead!
    Dead Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
    Large Man: Yes he is.
    “Dead” Man: I’m not.
    Dead Collector: He isn’t.
    Large Man: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
    “Dead” Man: I’m getting better.
    Large Man: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
    Dead Collector: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
    “Dead” Man: I don’t want to go on the cart.
    Large Man:’ Oh, don’t be such a baby.
    Dead Collector: I can’t take him.
    “Dead” Man: I feel fine.
    Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
    Dead Collector: I can’t.
    Large Man: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
    Dead Collector: I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.
    Large Man: Well, when’s your next round?
    Dead Collector: Thursday.
    “Dead” Man: I think I’ll go for a walk.
    Large Man: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
    “Dead” Man: I feel happy. I feel happy.
    [The collector paces for an idea, then whacks the body with his club, solving the problem]

    • As it has come to our attention that several people in South Sudan may not have yet seen the film, the dialog is from the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) written by the Monty Python troupe.

  12. Dharma says:

    “He Is Not Dead

    I cannot say, and I will not say
    That he is dead. He is just away.
    With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
    He has wandered into an unknown land
    And left us dreaming how very fair
    It needs must be, since he lingers there.
    And you—oh you, who the wildest yearn
    For an old-time step, and the glad return,
    Think of him faring on, as dear
    In the love of There as the love of Here.
    Think of him still as the same. I say,
    He is not dead—he is just away.”

    ― James Whitcomb Riley

  13. Nannie Spears says:

    I first met Alden many years ago, then didn’t see him for a long time until I met him again. He is a wonderful man who really cares about people and tries to fix conflicts so that everyone is satisfied. He gets along with all ages from babies to old folks although I think like many men he’s more comfortable with kids once they start walking. He’s very smart and knows something about everything as long as you don’t bring up the Cowboys or the Rangers. He’s affectionate without being aggressive and knows what he’s talking about. Sometimes he gets into intellectual arguments and talks over your head, but most of the time he’s right. I love him and glad he’s a part of my life.

  14. Tom T. Trucker says:

    The road of life always comes to an end. Alden held to his road no matter the obstacles ahead or around him or dangers from behind.

  15. I’ve been browsing online more than 8 hours today, yet I never found an article comparable to yours. Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before. Your article is astounding. The clarity in your post is just great and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

    You don’t have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life’s about change. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.

    Sorry that you’re dead.

    Jonathan Ericson
    Raging Queen Mother of South Sudan (retd)

  16. Carole moulsdale says:

    I met e many years ago at XXXX. I was also involved on the newspaper and shared many of the same interests. We moved on in life and reconnected at Xxxxxx for a visit. We had many great times and will always be remembered. 36 years went by fast our whole lifetimes e always remembered my birthday and he was very kind and generous.

    (We regret having to remove some details from this post, as marked with Xs, due to certain persons trying to cause problems for Alden and associates. –TLF)

  17. Bonnie Gruber says:

    Why don’t you tell how many pennames “Alden Loveshade” wrote under? Es styles were so out there, so varied, e couldn’t write under just one. Comedy, tragedy, news, animals, science, philosophy, from Sunday School literature to erotica, he wrote it all. He was a great kisser too, always cared about es ladies.

  18. Goldie Bear says:

    I knew Alden as my teacher and then my photographer. He was always taking photos. When I was 12, I mailed him a letter and pleaded with him to help me be a model. He shot like four or five rolls. I was totally shy at 12, but he made me feel comfortable. My family and friends loved the photos, and it made me feel good. Like I was somebody special. I didn’t model again for years, but when I did I remembered what he did for me. It gave me self confidence.

  19. Alden? Fine writer, self-editor, always met deadlines. Wish more freelancers were that way. Good luck wherever you’re going!

  20. Lady Layla says:

    Alden knew my Mommy for years, before I was even born. I goofed off in school, wouldn’t do homework, so he tutored me. I tried telling him I could do homework watching TV! So he didn’t say I couldn’t, he let me try and fail. I learned.

    There was like no way I’d ever be a model. I was too chubby and as a teenager I knew it. No bathing suits for me! I’d wear shorts and a top even for swimming if there was anybody there. But he knew my Mommy for years, so he convinced me to pose. It was fun! Then a few years later, he’s like here’s your photo in this book, and here’s another on the cover of this magazine! It was awesome! Not a big mag, but still, a magazine cover! I’ll never be a model, but I had my 15 seconds!

  21. Investigator Dave says:

    Most of you don’t know the half of what “Alden” went through. You know about the bogus investigation, but not how much he put himself at risk. Several years ago, post 9/11, couple local cops went off. They started an investigation, did illegal searches, planted evidence. Thought they were in Tombstone, could get away with anything. They could, small town mentality.

    Alden knew it but took the rap. He refused to reveal his sources and the other “suspects,” and kept maybe a dozen people out of jail while he faced 10 – 20 years, maybe life in prison. Told him, it’s your life, don’t take it. Don’t risk your life for people who are backstabbing you. They blackballed him. But he ignored my advice and plead the Fifth. Almost ruined him before the FBI cleared him two years later. An international investigation, cost at least hundreds of thousands if not a million or more. A church got split because of it, those for him and against him, later closed down.

    He needs to write that story. Crooked, incompetent cops make us all look bad. I’m retired now, or couldn’t say even that much.

    Make sure you want to post this. If not I’ll understand, and write something more generic. Alden deserves to be recognized.

    • We didn’t approve this post for a week because of what was revealed. The poster asked us to check it very carefully before posting. But by consensus, we agreed to post it here

    • I am one of the people Alden protected. I remember when e warned me when I was a young teenager about what I posted on the Internet. He actually scared me a little but it was for my own protection.

  22. Michael J. says:

    Alden could have made a career as a comic actor and pratfall maker. He had a knack of being serious and funny at the same time.

  23. George Wilson says:

    I can’t believe he’s not with us anymore. Such a great writer and such a great loss.

  24. Diceman says:

    Nothing about Alden as a comedian? He was a funny comic and great comedy writer full of satire. Everytime he opened his mouth you had to really listen because you never knew what he was going to say. He’d get you agreeing to something, not paying attention. Then all at once Wham! You knew he caught you not really listening. Brilliant, brilliant man.

  25. danacasso says:


    First, linguistics lesson.

    “Man, men, mensch”; German genderless pronoun meaning “human.”
    Male-gendered mainly in cultureless USA from mid 20th century on.
    “He, his”; German genderless pronoun. “This, this one.”
    Suffering same fate as “man.”

    Ich kann etwas Deutsch sprechen, aber nicht sehr gut.

    NOW as regards Alden’s current condition, I should note that HE is a huge fan of Steve Martin, who is known to write reviews of HIS own books.

    Alden is known for HIS pranks (I know because I participated in some)
    I had noted to HIM (albeit, not all that recently) a factoid about HIS experience writing obits.
    Furthermore, while I do not know Alden’s take on Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain), a “rumors of my death” prank is a fundamental part of Alden’s character.

    I’ve know the MAN for 25 years and this is what HE does.

    I’d spoken with Alden fairly recently on a far more serious matter, so something humorous as an antidote is what Doctor Who just ordered.

    For those of you who don’t know HIM, now you do. A little.

    For those who’ve known HIM, especially after a long time, either you’re in on it, or you let yourselves be duped.
    By HIM.

  26. The Gamemaster of Florin aka Gamemaster Loveshade aka The Midget aka etc started this whole family back in the 20th century. But as is es want, e started it then was gone. Alden was what kept things going.

    When somebody needed to recruit people, Alden started it. When something needed to be written or reported, Alden was behind it. When the Agents of Greyface swarmed over us like killer bees, I ran away while Alden faced them head on.

    Alden was a pacifist, but was one of the bravest people I’ve ever known. Alden was passive resistance, turning the other cheek not out of fear but out of defiance. Alden was brilliant and double checked everything, and was rarely wrong. Alden, like Robert Anton Wilson, worked to be an agnostic in everything, taking nothing for granted, and challenging anything.

    There are very few like Alden in the world, and the world will miss em.

  27. Bonnie Jones says:

    Alden risked his life to help others. If he said it, you knew it was true. Unless he was pulling your leg, he waas very good at that. But if you needed an answer or help for anything, he was your go to guy

  28. Acid Reflux says:

    Alden Loveshade is dead. Long live Alden Loveshade!

  29. Alden was Scrikin awesome, a man with a blow you away mind. But WTF don’t even mention his stint as lead singer for a rock group? He composed for movies too WTF ain’t that on here? Orgasmic Death metal and both the Earth band Orgasmic Death and the fictional space band got their name from him and Dr. Craven don’t forget that!

  30. Dolphin Blue says:

    U all knew Alden before I was born. Alden is very smart and very loving man. My parents know about what the police said, but they totally trust him. I do too.

  31. Anonymous says:

    So, [REDACTED], you file all those illegal “court orders” to get the truth about you, [REDACTED], removed then fail to remove it from your own website? You’re more of an idiot than I though you were, [REDACTED]!

    (For privacy reasons, some words have been removed from the comment above as indicated–TLF)

  32. Michael Viviano says:

    Wow, what a guy.

  33. Carole Mousdale says:

    My friend for many years way back in college. Wonderful time working with him on the newspaper,the Alumni Association many other college events. ALDEN always has remembered my birthday every year for almost 40 years. We partied many nights away and studied very hard too.

  34. Andye53 says:

    Slain by a pack of frenzied marsupials. Scuttlebutt is, a jealous spouse paid them to do it.
    Apparently, bail bondsmen everywhere are grieving over the potential lost revenue.
    Remember, there was more to this man’s legacy than a legion of broken hearts, bad debts and unpaid traffic violations.
    Can’t come up with any examples offhand, but it’s the thought that counts.
    (Insert inspirational quotation here)
    Aldwyn was such a dear boy …
    Great Aunt Mariah

  35. Easy Pleasy says:

    Alden was great with animals especially cats! When we had cats come in that acted crazy, it was always, “Alden, go work with the cats.” He was that way with snakes too. He had a trick for calming them I was too afraid to learn. And he was sweet with people too gave nice hugs.

  36. Federico Tufnell says:

    Ne’er knew this, thank you for letting me know.

  37. Bobbie Schaefer says:

    Most creative and best damn GURPS gm that ever was. Incredible human being, too, which is saying a lot, since most people alive on the planet are a far cry from living up to the definition of human.

  38. Christian Andy says:

    I must have missed this the first time. Didn’t I see you had written for Guideposts magazine?

    • That is possible–however, the publications listed are only ones for which Alden wrote under the name Alden Loveshade. Most of his professionally published writing was done under different names.

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